your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize