Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
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i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
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Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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