Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
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then he tried to convert me to islam
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
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you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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