I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize