I think scott just propositioned me for sex
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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