i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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