Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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