News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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