Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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