At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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