UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
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He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
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I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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