I want to have your abortion
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize