News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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