Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
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You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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