no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize