Already got asked if we're dating
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize