I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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