dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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