Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dick very happy bro
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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