It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i think i just lost a toe
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize