you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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