I'm eating all of the evidence.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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