haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you traded sex for a burrito?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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