sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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