No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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