I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize