Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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