Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize