you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
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is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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