im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize