he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
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I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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