hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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