8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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