Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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