Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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