My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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