you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize