so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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