DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize