I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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