I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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