I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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