my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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