quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize