remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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