took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
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But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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