they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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