I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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