You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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