worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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